I'm tired.

I'm so tired of trying to lose weight. I'm tired of cutting out absolutely all carbs, sugar and fatty foods. I'm tired of doing cardio with little results. I'm tired of being this same weight for the last year. Same flabby stomach, same back fat, armpit boob (you know what I mean), same jiggly thighs. I'm sick and tired of getting on the scale. Seeing the same numbers bounce back and forth between 8 Lbs.
You can't tell me I'm meant to be this weight. I'm so not. I should be able to lose 10 pounds! Some people can lose 30-50 pounds doing what I do/did, and I can't even lose TEN! I was going to the gym faithfully. Man did I love it. I was starting to go beyond my comfort zone. Starting to feel comfortable. Confident even. I believe in surrounding yourself with people you wish to mirror. And I am pretty sure it helped. I was at my lowest weight of the 8 lbs I am always bouncing between, which was like 3-4 pounds lost at the gym. I feel like that's as far as I ever get. No matter what I do I can't push past that mark. Its so unmotivating. I'm sure anyone whose ever wanted to lose weight can relate.
Just over a year ago I lost 25lbs. I lost this in a three month time period, using protein weightloss shakes. My mom lost almost 50 pounds in three months on these same "shakes". It worked. I definetly believe that doing it together is what kept us going, making it a competition and thriving over any achievement from one another.

Lately I've debated going on the shakes again but, I tried it. Countless times again. Literally the same day I'm 'cheating'. I've also thought about Weight Watchers. But what if it doesn't work because its not intense? (I don't know if it is or isn't - just a part of me thinks I need intense. Who knows.) I don't want to waste that money. Another part of me just think I should get my butt out and go running again. But yeah... that takes time. Time I don't always have.
So...the last 2 weeks I've been obsessing over weight gain. Food. Weight loss. Numbers. The last 2 weeks? I've probably gained 8 lbs. I feel gross. I feel puffy and just disgusting.
To save myself the misery, I packed our bathroom scale. I'm sick of obsessing over it.

So my conclusion? I'm straight up UNMOTIVATED!!! LAZY!!
I don't know what to do but wait around for a bout of motivation to hit.

If you have any tips or advice, or anything (nice) to say...please. feel free.