...and so will you!
We've all been told by SOMEONE that "no kid grows up and goes off to college not potty trained. He'll get it." Or "It takes time, no one gets married while their not potty trained. Stick with it".
What else can I say? That's exactly true. Its just, at the time... that's not want you want to hear. You want someone to say "hey! No worries Ma, I'll potty train her for you. Sit back, put your feet up. I'll clean up the accidents."
Ha. Wouldn't that be nice? Potty training is HARD WORK. No one can deny that.
So, I said long ago that I would do a potty training post about our complete roller coaster of journey. This has been a monumental milestone for us. And you'll see why. Its been a long time coming but she finally got it. I don't think there'll be any turning back for her now.
Here it goes! I hope you're able to take something from this!
The beginning
I think its safe to say, that we started introducing the potty to Leah around the age of 15 months. Four months ago I might have told you that I regret doing it so early and that it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Today? I might tell you the same thing. But I might not. I might tell you that the reason my daughter was potty trained fully at the age of 28 months (young to most, old for few) was because of our early introduction. Its always been around as far as she can remember, so far. So its what she knows, its 'normal'.
Let me just say, at 15 months we took it out of the box, sat her on it, she screamed, cried, hated it. You get the picture. She was little. Still had chubby cheeks, thigh rolls, and could've been classified as bald. Heck, she was still teething (not for much long after though).
A month after we moved she was 16 months. May. We brought it out again. She still didn't want to sit on it. She hated it. I didn't expect any different. Accident after accident happened. (Yes, she ran around pantless) It wasg easy in the beginning to stay calm and reasurring. A few days later she started having a couple pees in the potty a day. Still, accidents happened, but we remained supportive and gently, kindly, forgivingly told her its OK. But she has to go to her potty when she needs to. A week later she was doing more pees a day. Sometimes 4. Some days 1. But we were making progress, and that's what kept me going. Dancing, jumping, singing, clapping when she did go to the potty. She loved that part.
The FIRST regression.
By the beginning of June she had completely hit a wall. Did a u-turn and was headed the opposite way. See-ya later mom and dad. I don't like this no-diaper stuff.
I was a little disappointed, I won't lie. But I knew she just wasn't fully ready, even though she DID show many signs of readiness that I read to look out for AND even used the potty on many occasions. I guess the WANT on her end, just wasn't there. Back to diapersl we went.
Fall.
By this time I had received a wonderful potty training information video from Pull-Ups. It was great. A lot of good advice and Leah even enjoyed watching it. Actually this was what sparked her next episode of potty training-ish... After watching this video she said "mommy potty", excitedly I took her. She didn't go. No big deal. She wanted to be a 'big kid'. Here we go again. This time around I could have swore she was fully potty trained. Consistency with both poops and pees. She got rewards like Smarties each time. We did everything like we did the first time. Supportive, forgiving, motivating, rewarding. She still needed a diaper/training pants at night and whenever we left the house, and i was more than ok with that. She went a week without any accidents at the end of it. Yeah... I said end.
Regression #2
I'm not exactly sure what happened. But again, it was probably because the 'want' just wasn't there for her. Thinking back, I remember since we did let her run around with no pants on, when we finally did put underwear on her she peed in them every. Single. Time. Without fail. Pants didn't make a difference. Same thing. She had to have nothing on in order to go to the potty. Other than that she did so well and I was so disappointed when she regressed. I thought "she's going to be almost four before she's potty trained at this rate!" I stressed over it, cried over it...you get the picture. It was HARD seeing her just give up after so much progress. It was even more hard because this was her second time around. She KNEW what she was suppose to do. And I didn't think that it was because her muscles for holding and controlling weren't fully developed. They had to be well developed at least, because she WAS faithfully using the potty for a WEEK! At this point I was so so so devestated and borderline depressed about. It was bad. We stopped for a month and tried again.
Early winter.
We started this time with a 'potty party', suggested by a friend on twitter. I was so desperate for ANY advice or help. This is going to sound drastic but we spent three days in the bathroom. It was brutal. We had fun snacks of chips, granola bars, fruit snacks, and lots of straight up juice boxes (as opposed to the watered down juice she usually gets). We brought books, a portable DVD player, more toys, and colouring books. I brought coffee and a book. Yup, it was needed. I was close to insanity at the end. Partly because I was sick of seeing the same four walls, partly because I couldn't feel my butt any longer, from sitting on the floor, and partly because my house was now a complete disaster. Over the weekend she did use the potty quite a bit, but I noticed it was only pees. No matter what she would have accidents whenever it came to poops. That confused me and sort of frustrated me because she was so much younger when she was able to do both in the potty. It was like she completely forgot everything. Like none of it ever happened.
Same deal. Singing, dancing, Smarties rewards, big deals over successful potty trips.
Then...it happened. Again.
Regression #3
At this point i was d.o.n.e. Heck, I was willing to literally PAY someone to train my child. I was at my wits end. Ready to give up forever. Let her potty train herself (somehow). I was so bitter and angry over potty training. The thought of it made me cringe. If I thought it was bad before, it was even worse now. I felt hopeless. I stressed, cried, prayed, and cried some more. Some days I was so down and depressed over it, sounds silly and whatever else you might think...but you have no idea unless you've been through this potty training stuff FOUR TIMES WITHOUT SUCCESS (three at this point though). You know what? Writing this post is even somewhat hard, and I think that's what's taken me so long to do it.
Anyways, it was the same thing, again. She just stopped. Out of no where.
*I realize now that THAT time around, she really needed me to remind her. I needed to go sit her on the potty. Although, at this point she hated the potty. Hated sitting on it. So it was hard to remind her because even if she had to go she'd say "no". And sometimes TWO minutes later she'd have an accident. I understand that some kids you can put them on the potty and wait until they go and they're fine with it, but Leah never was.*
Winter
A couple months later we tried again. I figured a good break was what she needed. We did another potty party. But for two days this time. I'm going to save you the gory details. And I wish I could say this was our last time around...but its not. Yes...there was a fourth regression.
Regression #4
Again, no real reason...that I know of anyways. I did so much reading on potty training its insane. I even bought a book on it for my Kindle.
March 2012.
As I sigh in real life, writing this... its kind of stressful just thinking about it. But also satisfying and gratifying because this would be our last go at it. I wish I could tell you it was something I did this time around, something magic or whatever. But it wasn't. She was just ready I guess. Finally. I picked a day to start up. March 3rd. I bought a gift bag and filled it with dollar store nick-nacks. Right off the bat, i put underwear on her. I didnt care that she ran out of all 13 pairs in 3 days and that i had to wash them by hand, i wasnt letting her run around pant-less this time, in fear of regression once again after she did put underwear on. At this point, after all of our go's at this she knew she had to at least tell me when she had to go. When she went she either got a little gift from the surprise bag or I would put food colouring in the toilet for her and then we would flush it away. She'd wave and say "bye blue" or "bye red". We did a potty party for one day. She did okay. And in all honesty, it took her a week maybe two. That she occasionally had accidents. For the first week she had mostly poop accidents. After that, she would tell me every time she had to go. Making it loud and clear. "Oh no!! Mommy, pee!!" Or "oh no! Poopie!!" Then run to the bathroom, and wait for me to get there. She was still wearing training pants at night. And I was perfectly okay with that.
**I just want to add... i didnt use Pull-Ups. Ever. Well, I bought one pack because they were cute and pretty. I put one on her during the day. She couldn't care less if there was princesses on them. They were diapers to her. From then on I used them at night only. I personally would never use them to actually potty train my child. I know there are people out there that swear by them but they look and feel like diapers. They're suppose to feel like 'big kid underwear' but in all honesty, i think leah would say thats B.S. if she knew what that word meant. Yes, they have less of those super soaker-upper beads than regular diapers but when you put pants over top of them there is zero difference.**
Also, my intentions weren't to scare anyone about potty training. Its not like this for everyone. I like to think that its usually easier. Although I have read that usually it does take 9+ months to fully potty train a child. I just wanted to share my experience. And maybe, possibly help someone whose about to potty train or is going through something similar with their child. Potty training is hard. Harder than anything I went through when she was first born; sleep deprivation, the stress of just not knowing what to do with a newborn...
I've learned many things through this journey that I will carry with me for my other children. Sadly, like many first children, Leah is like my guinea pig child. And I always learn the hard way. Poor kid.
Today.
Its been almost 2 months now and I am so proud of my big girl. She can now wear her big girl panties plus pants over top, obviously making her a 'big kid', right? She never has any accidents, always does both #1 & #2's on the potty, and even has about 4 dry nights a week. We did start off with putting training pants (pull-ups nock off) on her whenever we went out and she quickly started to stay dry whenever we went out. Then she started telling me she had to go potty when we were away from home. I always find a bathroom as quickly as I can, and usually people are really nice and understanding about it. So now? She never wears training oants during the day! Ever. Just her panties and pants.
Still, I continue to bring extra changes of clothes with me just in case. Sometime, although I don't know how, while using the potty, it will spray out and get her pants and underwear wet. Seriously? No big deal, whatsoever. That's nothing. I never get upset over it.
I learned that she is just a super independant child. I said earlier that I wanted her to train herself, and in all honesty? I think she did. I played a small part. Helping with her pants. That's it. Whenever I asked, or even if I ask now, she'll still say no, even if I see her crossing her legs. Two seconds later she'll say "oh! Pee!" And run off to the bathroom with me in tow. All that time spent trying to train her, she had to do it herself.
Every child is different, we had a hard go at it, but that doesn't mean you will. Just because your child might physically show signs of readiness, they need to be COMPLETELY mentally ready. And its hard to know when that is, unless you have 27866448 attempts at it like us.
Since she's been potty trained, she's now becoming a better sleeper as well (mostly thanks to daddy)... but that's another story. Another LONG LONG story...
I am so happy when out with Leah and I look down and see that cute little tush without a diaper! So so proud of her. People don't believe it when I tell them. They all say "oh my gosh, she's so little and young!". She is little. People think she's 1.5 not almost 2.5! But this just brings one of those smiles to your face that is so big you feel kind of like an insane clown, smiling away to yourself.
Seriously, its a hard sometimes torturous journey, but its worth the hard work. You and your little one will feel so accomplished at the end. And I promise you... there is an end ;)
******
Here are some pictures throughout OUR journey.
The first was looong ago. In the beginning. Don't let the big smile deceive you.
The next two is our potty party.
Forth is food colouring in the toilet
Fifth... big girl.
Sixth... she uses the potty seat on the big toilet now. :-)
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