Fighting For Faith

I don't exactly how to say all this so Im just going to come right out and start. And in all honesty, its taken me a couple of days to write this.

I believe in God. I feel like He has guided me and helped me to get to where i am right now in my life. I've cried to him, laughed to him, prayed to him. Although Im aware i don't have the best relationship with him, or the relationship id like to have, i am grateful for the one i do have. I can only hope and do so much to make sure my children are as close to God as i am.

To make a long story short, Matt's mother was actually a practising Jehovah's Witness. His parents divorced when he was 10. Him and his older sister grew up Atheist (That being said, he didn't have the typical, "fun", average childhood). Fortunately his sister more so than him.
And yes, this upsets me in many ways that he would rather believe in science and evolution. Recently we had a discussion over this. And i think he just hasn't given much thought to what he actually believes in. He said he does believe in God, because he believes there is a higher power. But he is such a "matter of fact" person. He lives to educate himself and i can honestly say he is one of those people who knows a ton of pointless information (on the plus side, he always has an answer for my curious brain). Im not going to sit here and explain his reasons for believing what he does but, say what you want, or think what you want. Im confident that somewhere in that mind of his he knows there is a God. And i feel like its my job and responsibility to help him find his way. I think it will be hard, and take time, a lot of time. But i so badly want him to know the feeling and the love of having Him in his life.

I haven't had the average childhood experience either, you can read about that here (The Good, The Bad, The Ugly. My Life in a Nutshell), but i have always felt the spirit of God with me. And I have Him him to thank for who i am and what i have today. Through everything, i remained faithful to Him, and Him to me.

Praying doesn't mean getting everything that you want. My mom once explained to me (for a child to understand): God isn't always going to give you what you ask and its that simple. You could pray to go to Disney Land and He may not want that for you right now, because there could be undoable consequences. He has other plans. He always has a plan for you. You are in His best intentions. He doesn't want you hurt.
And I've chalked this up to, there are 3 possible answer He will have for you; Yes, No, I have other plans.

There are things that can't be explained and questions that can't really be answered
Things don't always go as planned, and sometimes things have to be bad before they can get better. But God had a plan for me. He still does. And i have faith that He'll lead me the way He wants. I know He loves Matt. I know He's watching over us. And i know He listens to our prayers everyday. He's always listening, he's always watching. He's never judging.