The Polite Man-Eating Monster

This house has gotten a whole lot more graphic this past week.

My legs get "eaten" off on a daily basis.

Honestly, my daughter is equally as much of a girly girl as she is a little tom-boy. She's a whiney, gruesome, rough and divalicious kid. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

One day she can be dancing around in a dress doing ballet moves and having tea parties. The next she's playing with trains, trucks and dinosaurs or pretending to use tools. Im not saying only those things are for boys or girls. She's just very diverse in her world of exploration. And Im perfectly okay with that.
But what really puts a smile on my face, is this:

1) Her manners. She makes sure to say "Peese?" and "Kank you!" for absolutely everything. This completely melts me.
2) She puts on this "mean" face, shows her teeth and makes a little growl. This is followed by a friendly dive to one of our legs. Then she pretends to eat us while make some pretty awesome and monstrous eating noises. When she's all done she lets out this pathetic attempt for a pretend burp. This is then followed by a big 'O' face and she says "oh, scuse you!" And like any regular human, this polite little monster gets the hiccups. Which she calls "hipots" (hilarious!).

Seriously, this is such a fun age! Her imagination seems to grow at a colossal rate each day. New words and phrases every day. Im so proud.

That Feeling. Without a Floor or Ceiling.

Yesterday i got Leahs baby book down from the top shelf in her closet. I opened it and a wave of emotions and warm memories filled me with such a great feeling.
Love.

Happiness.

Completely limitless...

Pictures of my baby belly, a sign i made saying "Its A Girl!" for when Matt came home from work. A baby growth chart, a list of 'firsts', and baby shower memories. There's a place for her first hair cut, which she hasn't had yet, and a picture for each birthday up until 5. Yeah, my baby book only goes to age 5. What the...?

It was hard to believe the last time i looked at it was a year ago. I had some things to fill in including the (only) 2 pages for age two. Of course, not all of it could be filled in since she *just* turned two. Wow does time fly.

To continue my mirage of sweet memories, how better to remember than watch some short videos i have on my phone.

Kids grow. That's just something we all have to deal with. Sometimes i don't fully realize just how fast this phase is going to fly by. Im so wrapped up with trying to cope with a tired or whiney, busy little toddler that i forget to be thankful and appreciative for *NOW*. I know Im not the only one. Im so blessed to have a perfectly beautiful and healthy daughter, so that i am thankful for.

God, i love this kid. She's so amazing.

Growing, Learning, and Independence

Yes, its true. This morning i choked up in front of 9 kids and 10 adults. A little embarrassing.

Last week was our first day at our library book group, for toddlers. It didn't go so well. L was up roaming around, not listening, being loud, and embarrassing. We had to leave the room. This week i didn't even want to go, but decide i should just deal with it. We went and it was the complete opposite. She sat with me while we sang songs, read stories, & played games as a group. Each kid got a snow man with their name on it. When their name is called they go up and stick their snow man on the board.

Two kids went before her. Then her name was called "Leah!". She jumped up, didn't even look back at me, and went to stick her snow man up. Then she came back and sat down. A huge smile was glued on my face as my eyes filled up. I embarrassed myself!

There she was. My little girl! When did this happen? How did this happen?

Its like it was only yesterday that she rolled over for the first time. Now she's this big girl, walking up on her own, not needing me. Not shy!

Really? We're at that point already? The independent stage. The part where mommy cries herself to sleep.

This is a *huge* milestone for us. One i didn't see coming. One that caught me by surprise, teary eyed at the library.

She's growing up.

Photo Shoot Glimpse

I feel terrible that i have always kinda slacked on getting professional photos done of L. We didn't get any done when she was a newborn. [STILL (and probably for the rest of my life) kicking myself in the ass for THAT] We did get photos done at 5 months, and a lot. Then just before her first birthday, we got family photos done.

THAT'S IT!

Am i a terrible parent or what?

Well, let me tell you, taking pictures with a one year old is MUCH easier than taking pictures with a two year old. She was running around all over the place. We tried toys, a chalk board, balloons, acting stupid (as all parents do at photo shoots), everything, that i could think of. It was frustrating but we ended up having a lot of fun. Eventually, a little pink, and slightly dirty chair that the photographer uses to stand on, was the key to that perfect picture moment. She pulled it over, sat down and started smiling away, dancing and wiggling like she had planned it all out.

We ended up with some pretty awesome pictures. The photographer emailed me some unedited samples. Here's a little glimpse at how it went.

Leah vs Einstein

It finally hit me today. Who my kid's hair actually resembles. She always has this mad scientist look about her when she's running around, a look of determination on her face. Maybe even a hint of madness. Oh wait, that's me. Haha I've got one goofy kid on my hands.

If you need a laugh, your in the right place.

So what does Leah and Albert Einstein have in common? See for yourself.

Wistful For Co-Sleeping

The first week postpartum, i spent sleeping in a reclining chair. I was unbelievably sore and torn badly. I moved very little. Thankfully i was breast feeding then and just started to supplement formula, as i wasn't producing enough and we had problems getting a proper latch. My sweet, newborn baby girl slept with me. Tucked nicely against me. I remember my mom waking up (We lived with her for 2 months) and saying "Megan, you can't let her sleep there with you. Its going to be a really hard habit to break!" Of course, as a new and uneducated mother (i thought i was educated then, now i think otherwise), i just wanted what i thought was going to be the easiest and best for all of us.

When i healed enough to sleep or relax in a bed, i kept my little newborn there with me too. Eventually, with much discussion, unfortunately, we decide to move her into her bassinet. Little did we know that for the next two years we would still be experiencing sleep problems. Who knows, maybe co-sleeping is what we were meant to be doing with L. We'll never know. What i do know, is that i regret it. However 'hard' it would have been to break her of it, we would of dealt with it then. I don't think it could be as bad as two years worth of sleep issues.
After we made the decision to stop having her sleep in our bed, she has slept everywhere: car seat ;infant chair ;bassinet ;crib. She never seemed to be comfortable in either one, and it didn't even come to me that maybe co-sleeping was the better idea.

Last night we bought big girl Pjs for her. They are the flannel ones, and they're absolutely adorable. M commented and said "she really does look like such a big girl with those on". I couldn't help but to pick her up and just hug, cuddle and kiss her cheeks to pieces. I didn't want to let her go. Sadly, you can only hang onto a toddler for so long before the monster comes out. I told M that sometimes, i really wish she would sleep in our bed with us. He said he wishes that too. But of course, now she won't even try to sleep. She thinks its play time or something. 

I've said this before, and unfortunately, I'll say it again. L is my trial and error child. I think not 'first' children are. You can read as many pregnancy books or new mother books you want, it won't make yet a professional. Your not going to know the answer to everything. Im not saying reading is bad because obviously its not. Being pregnant there isn't really any other way for you to educate yourself. Having your *own* child and developing your *own* way of parenting and what works for you, makes you educated. But even then, as we already know, all children are different.

If i could offer advice to a new mother, i would tell them. Do what you really want. Listen to your heart. If you want to sleep cuddling your infant, then just do it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with expressing your love that way. Your going to come across obstacles no matter what you choose. So if co sleeping is what you want, then go for it.

Some nights, i just want my little girl to cuddle in bed with me. For now, ill settle with cuddles on the couch with movies.

Snow Sweet

Within the last 3 days we've gotten more snow than we have all year. And believe me, its not even a significant amount. Still, its enough to have fun in. And that's exactly what we did.

We built a snow man family and placed them on the window outside of her bedroom. She says "Mommy. Daddy. Baby." Then starts marching and sings just a single word. "Frosty". Because that's the only word in the song, Frosty The Snowman, that she knows. Its adorable. I love it. Everyday she makes me smile :')

After we were done outside, we came in and cuddled on the couch together, eating grapes. Fifteen minutes later she fell a sleep on the couch.

When she woke up we cuddled for another hour, until dinner was ready. And lets just say, it was a HUGE hit!! My first time making beef stew and i nailed it! The crock pot made the beef so tender. So proud!

It was a great day!

A Writing Wish

I grew up all over the country but, what i consider my home is a small town where i spent a lot of time going and coming. A place so small but so full of family and memories. Those are my roots.
For as long as i can remember, i have always had a deep passion for books. When i was young, I spent at least 4 days a week at the little library in my town. I remember they had big, oddly shaped but comfy chairs. It had a long table with book bins built in the center and little chairs all the way around. This is where i spent most of my days. Well, there and at my grandparents house (obviously).
All throughout school i excelled in English. I won an award in grade one for reading 156 books that school year. As i got older it was clear that i had a thing for editing. My mom would write poems, and i would automatically edit it without any hesitation. It was just something that i enjoyed doing.

I used to have such an imagination. I would write little stories all to time. But it wasn't until i got my first computer that i actually wanted to write a real story. When i was 11, i got a computer for Christmas. You know, the old bulky, Windows 98? Yeah, that. Either way, it was the coolest thing, and i loved it!
One day i sat there and came up with a whole story.
It was about a family that recently moved to this beautiful big house. With a pool and an apple tree in their back yard. The little girl in the story, would see strange things, people. No one believed her though, obviously. One night, what started out as a light walking sound on the floor boards, abruptly turned to loud banging and screaming from the little girls room. The dad opens her bedroom door to find her levitating and speaking in a deep voice, not of the little girls. The voice warns the parents, and (obviously) shoots some threats their way. (cliche i know) her body drops to the floor, unconscious but okay.
That's where i stopped. It was actually quite long at this point though. I remember thinking how proud i was of myself that i introduced the characters so smoothly and with such great detail.
Since it was my first real (well, and only) story that i have written it hasn't really left my mind. I can still picture everything the way i had when i was writing it.

I don't consider myself a great writer. I do it because i enjoy it. It clears my mind and i feel so accomplished when Im done. Lately, i have been having that urge to sit down and write. A lot. But i don't have any sound ideas or story lines that pop into my head, making me say "That's it!" So ill just have to keep letting my imagination wander. But? What better way to get practice writing than to do it in a blog? ;)

I wish one day, to write a book and be proud of my writing.
I wish for L to have the same appreciation for books that i do.
I wish to hold on to that inspiration, when i find it again, and not let go like last time.
I wish for words.

Musings Of A Mommy

Today is one of those days, you know? Lazy, tired, unmotivated, the urge to munch non stop, dinner cooks itself and the house stays messy kind of a day.

But? I did eat healthy today. Lunch was the same as yesterday: strawberries, cool whip and a yogurt. Except a certain little someone stole half of my yogurt (that's ok, i stole some of her egg this morning hee hee). I only had 4 homemade chocolate chip cookies (but the day is only half over). Unfortunately, last night M bought chocolate chip cookie dough icecream. Yeah. It was my first time really trying it other than a lick of someone's cone. Lets just say, after having a bowl i just took it upon myself to hold the tub.
M laughs and says "that good huh? I thought you didn't like it? So much for your diet?"
Me: "I lied. Its delicious. Im almost done."

I usually can't eat icecream like that. I don't know what came over me. So, i need to steer clear of the freezer tonight. I had too many cookies. 

Also, L and i are still in our pajamas. Poor girl. Fortunately though, dishes got done last night and i gave L a bath. So regardless of a floor that needs sweeping, an apocalyptic looking toddler room, and a bathroom that needs cleaning, its going to have to wait. 'Til tomorrow, or something, maybe. Who am i kidding? Probably not.

Oh and in case you haven't noticed, blogging on my phone is a lot harder and more time consuming than i thought it would be (hence the lack of posts this part week). Also, i can't put pictures where i want them. They kind of just all hang out together at the bottom of the post. Not cool. I think I've gotten 2 posts practically done besides this one and something on the app screwed them up so bad that i got mad and just deleted them! Im keeping this one simple, for that reason.

Oh, and want to know something exciting?

L slept the entire night last night!! And somehow i still woke up with a body begging for a nap. Needless to say, i didn't have one. Obviously.

Despite it all, Lee Lee and i have had tons of snuggles and i painted her finger and toe nails.

So there's that.

Cherished Moments

After almost an hour out in the bitter cold, nothing is nicer than cuddling on the couch under our favorite blankets with a teddy and a snack!

Its one of her favorite things to do. She loves snuggling. She loves movies. We both love cuddles. Win win.

Movie of choice? Gnomeo & Juliet. Recently discovered on the movie channel!

I look down at her, anticipating a run for it any moment, and realize just how independent she's becoming.

I cherish these moments.

Potty Mouth

Tonight it became clear that we are at the "repeat everything Mommy and Daddy says" stage.

I actually never really swear besides the occasional "shit" or "frig". I might swear in writing. But that's only because i can't do it out loud lol. Daddy, on the other hand, has quite the casual potty mouth. Haha. He's aware of it though, and has made adjustments accordingly. Still, we parents know all too well that its the words we don't want our kids picking up that they usually do catch on to quite quickly. Evidence:

We're looking for L's Max and Ruby book.

Me: "Its by your foot on the floor honey."

*She looks around frantically, trying to find it. She doesn't*

L: "Maaax!!!?"

Me: "by your foot Leah."

L: "MAAAAX! OhshitOhshit!"

True story. We secretly laughed our asses off. Common, how can you not?

She's a crazy girl. Learning so many more words everyday! This stage is so amazing.

Mockingjay By Suzanne Collins

Young Katniss Everdeen has survived the dreaded Hunger Games not once, but twice, but even now she can find no relief. In fact, the dangers seem to be escalating: President Snow has declared an all-out war on Katniss, her family, her friends, and all the oppressed people of District 12. The thrill-packed final installment of Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy will keep young hearts pounding.

!!SPOILERS!!

I liked this book. A Lot. But mainly because it ended the way i wanted it to end. Well, mostly the way i wanted it to end. I found that it took a while for this one to get to the juicy parts. This is a different type of "Hunger Games". They aren't in the arena but they're getting killed off by The Capitols pods. Still gruesome. Still bloody. Still good.
The whole bit about Gale made me sad. I wish you could have known weather or not he found someone, had children and was happy.
PRIM THOUGH!! Common. She was one of the few characters that i absolutely loved!! Even after she died i kept hoping that maybe she isn't really dead. She's still alive somewhere.
Nope. Dead. I hated it. I filled up and had a lump in my throat.
Also, i hated this new Peeta. And i mised the old one.

So when it comes down to it, this book did meet a lot of my expectations but a lot were also unmet. It had a lot of unexpected events that made my heartrate increase.
Either way, the movies are going to be A-MA-ZING!

Catching Fire By Suzanne Collins

Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark won the annual competition described in Hunger Games, but the aftermath leaves these victors with no sense of triumph. Instead, they have become the poster children for a rebellion that they never planned to lead. That new, unwanted status puts them in the bull's-eye for merciless revenge by The Capitol...

So... Book number two.
Will they EVER catch a break? Shittiest luck. Ever.
I Love Peeta. I really do. I just don't like that he is ALWAYS the weak little damsel in distress. I don't care if your a baker. Man up.
And Katniss. She's pretty awesome and still pretty bad ass. Stubborn though. And that kind of annoys me. There are times when i just don't like her.
The story itself was intense. This book was an easy page turner and took the littlest amount of time to read. HOWEVER, worst cliff hanger ever. Good thing i had the third one to start immediatly.
So, to conclude... I LOVED it!! The first was better, but i still loved this one!
mmkay... now go read it!

An Upcoming Absence

About 5-6 months ago my mom gave us my sister's computer because it was completely effd up! It wasn't even possible to open a Word Document. It was real bad. We restored it back to factory default and have had it ever since. 

Let me just say: It was a huge pain in the butt to restore it back. It definetly took a while.
And on another note: She's 13, and the most irresponsible and destructive, careless person ever. Hence, how the computer got that way in the first place.

Usually i put it in my room whenever she comes over so she doesnt see it. We had it all this time and she didnt even ask my mom for it or where it was or anyhting. She didn't miss it at all.

Today she found it. Shit.

I told her i need one more week to clear it of some stuff. She put up a good fight, and i know it IS hers, but i really to need to take some stuff off first. I said she can have i tthe next time she comes out.

I think im going to have a little seperation anxiety. Seriously.

So, after this week blog posts will be written up on my app on my phone. I don't know how well i'll be able to put up pictures, or if i can at all. So here is a pretty little face for you. Just in case.

Oh, and sadly i can't upload any new pictures that i take on my new camera. :(

Gotta start saving! lol

Grape Juice Tea Parties

I got this tea set at my baby shower. There is so much detail, its beautiful!

Leah has never seen it until today. Telling her "gentle" and "slowly" didn't work out so well. Nothing ended up broken -this time- but we did had a little mess to clean up. Not a big deal.
As you can see from the picture below, the "tea" didn't stay in her cup for long lol.

A grape juice substitute for tea definelty doesn't last long. We had so much fun slurping up the juice from the tiny cups.
In the middle of our tea party, her grandpa showed up. Just a quick visit but he brought her the cutest homemade doll that he and his dad had made for her. An immediate smile came over her face. She hugged it and said "A-que" (thank you). When he left we continued our tea party. This time Woody and her new doll were invited. 

This was a special treat. For both of us. Something other than the everyday stuff we usually play or do together. Seeing her drink up all of her "tea" and ask for more made me smile. I love seeing her imagination grow.
Her first tea party.

Mud, Rocks & Rain Boots

Today was an abnormally warm-ish day (+4*C) for January. I got Leah dressed and took her to the park down the road. It was nice and she had tons of fun -- we haven't been there since before Halloween.

 A little jumping. A little splashing.

A little wondering, wandering and walking.

A little mud.

A little discovering.

A little swing. A little smile. A lot of fun.

This place is her garden. To dig in and explore. To grow and be unique. To learn and embrace. To be who she wants to be. This world is her dance floor.

Life is a dance, a journey, a dream.

Despite the mud and chill, we had a great time.

...And then we went home.
:)


25 Things You Didn't Know

25. I've never been outside of Canada, beside the 2 times i briefly crossed the border to the States for MAYBE a day at the most. -- There are so many places i dream of going. Paris, France ;Egypt ;Italy and Scotland to just name a few. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

 

24. My parents are divorced. They have been twice now. But this time its for good.

 

23. I read. Like, a lot. If L allowed me, and if there was no need to eat, drink, use the bathroom, clean, cook etc. then i would read all day, nonstop.

 

22. I could live without coffee and tea -- French Vanillas and lattes, however, i could not.

 

21. I'm kinda addicted to lip balm/chapstick

 

20. I hate lady bugs -- they're stupid (or so they seem). They fly and land so unaware and clumsily. They get stuck in my hair. Nuff said?

19. I always flip my pillow to get to the cool side. -- Its cozier :)

18. I have a very good memory. -- Most important, I can remember how I thought and viewed the world when I was a kid.

17. When i was 5 i moved from the eastern most province to the western most province. When i was 7, we did it again.

16. For two and a half years of my life i suffered from hallucinations.

15. Im shy and introverted. Until you know me. Then i just get embarassed easily.

14. I don't think im a great writer, but rather a good editor.

13. I was NEVER popular in school. I wasn't a nerd either. But i was easily ignored and forgotten.

12.  I've never smoked a cigarette. -- just took one puff of one. Never again.

11. My grandmother was 20 when she had my mother. My mother was 20 when she had me. I was 20 when my daughter was born. Weird?

10. I've never been throw-up-drunk. And i have only ever had one hang over.

 9. I pretty much have zero athletic talent. Although, when the weather is right i do enjoy a good run.

8. Weight is (and always has been) an issue for me. I was never an overweight kid, but i did get chubby around age 10-12 then i started to really slim out.

7. I hate owning a vehicle. Insurance and monthly payments feels like an elephant on my back. The thought of something going wrong or breaking down is constantly tantalizing. But i couldn't do without it. I'm too used to the luxury of having wheels.

6. My cell phone is ALWAYS on me. I've grown so acustomed and attached to it that when its even being threatened to get disconnected i have anxiety. (don't judge me)

 

5. I've only ever been in 2 relationships. -- The first lasted 4 years, during highschool. I didn't miss out on the whole "get out and experience other people" bit, because i was pretty premiscuous. But so was he. --the second is with my current boyfriend. We just celebrated out 4th anniversary, and we have both never been happier.

 

4. I don't like vegetables. Except broccoli. -- There are only a handful of vegetables that i do like.

 

3. I'm crafty but i don't actually know how to sew, crochet, knit, or anything else. One day, i plan on learning how to sew (with and without a sewing machine).  

 

2. I believe in God. And in His son, Jesus. I am grateful and thankful for my religious mother and grandparents. I faithfull went to sunday school every day until we started to constantly move. Even then, my sunday school teacher would send me things from the school. God has played an important role in my life and i have Him to thank for where i am today. I want L to embrace God and have him apart of her life as well.

1. When i was just a couple months old, my aunt put a tiny, homemade bunny in my crib. Its been by my side, and in my hand through everything. I still have "him", but i dont sleep with him anymore. Sometimes, when im going through things i'll come across him and rub his ears between my fingers like i did when i was a kid. His name is Cotty, short for Peter Cotton Tail. He knows all of my secrets and he's been my bestfriend for as long as i can remember.

Unfortunate Events

Just when you think things can get worse, they always can. And they probably will, just to get back at you for thinking otherwise.
The gap between "unfortunate" events isn't all that great, ever. Its true, i think, that some people have all the luck. But then, they'll never have the inner strength that those of us that experience reoccuring ominous hard luck will have. And for that, i think we are lucky. These days there are many who lack inner strength and the will power to stay positive through it all.

What will we have left if we poor all of what we do have into being negative and doubtful of anything good?

Oh, i know, i know! Dark circles and bags under our eyes, stress, and just a perma-foul mood. That's something to look forward to right? ...Yeah, or not.

Boy, have i been getting "lucky" with my unfortunate events lately. Its hard staying positive and patient. Stress comes so easily. I'll be the first to admit i'm quick to get fired up and angry over little things. Its silly really, and i find myself getting even more upset later that i let it happen. I make myself look like a fool. I make other people around me feel uncomfortable. That makes me feel worse. Sad even.

Here's to trying and prevailing. Look beyond the frustration. Look beyond the anxiety and the irritation. Push past it and find your happiness, peace,spirit and strength to keep hauling. Afterall, there is SO much more to smile about than to frown over. 

New Year Goals

I have a few... well, maybe more than a few. But they are realistic, i think. Some are long term and some are short. A new year, a new start?

1. My major goal is to get L potty trained. We've been going at it for so long now. It NEEDS to happen. So, im aiming for before the summer. Thats reasonable right? 4 months til spring. I'm determined.

2. Have L sleeping through the night. This means breaking her of the habit of waking up and being held until she falls asleep again. Somehow, i need to make this happen.

3. I want to lose at least 10 lbs. I'm below my pre-pregnancy weight but my body is just NOT the same. I gotta Shape up and tone up. I need to complete my 90 Day Challenge.

4. To read 25-30 books in 2012.

5. Be more financially comfortable. Less debt, more bills paid off, have our truck up to where it needs to be. And i want us to have money saved.

6. To work on my self confidence and to stop worrying what everyone else is thinking about how i do things.

7. Patience. I need to work on that. Patience with myself, M & L, my sister, my mom. I want to worry less as well.

8. I want to know and be sure about what it is that i want in my future. Be it career, kids, a house etc.

9. More one on one time with L.

10. To get my wisdom teeth out, all 4 of them.

Its Official. She's Two.

Two Years ago, a beautiful little angel was born. I never thought that i could love someone so much, ever. Then came my little blue eyed, blond haired princess. Holding her for the first time made everything in the world right. Time stopped. There was no pain. There were no worries. It was just me and her, looking into each others eyes. My heart grew 10 times that day.
e one of those mothers who gloat and boast about their child but she really does get attention all on her own. Its like she's on a stage, and she knows it. DP's dad thinks the world of her!! And my mother absolutely adores her. And L thinks the same about both of them. Every where she goes she manages to get the room laughing and "oo-ing" and "aw-ing" over her. She's pretty talented.
amazing so far seeing her grow into such a beautiful little girl and watching her personality take shape. Being a mother is like nothing else in the world, and i wouldn't change one thing.
It seems we're entering the "terrible twos" (although im pretty confident we've been experiencing symptoms for a few months) and the stage of no's and mine's.

(Birthday breakfast)
This will be an interesting but fun year to come. Lucky for us we get to start 2012 off with a brand new 2 year old.

Her birthday party went great. Not as many people showed up as i thought would. There was only one kid that made it. But that's okay they had tons of fun together! And between the two of them they made sure to make just as much of a mess as what 6 of them could of made.
I decorated her cake myself (with the help of some youtube videos). It turned out pretty good i think. Just not as good as i wanted it to. Still, it was special.

And of course, she got spoiled. DP and i only got her one thing. With all the stuff she got for christmas and then her birthday... this year was really over board.

Im so looking forward to this next year. This is going to be quite the adventure. Happy Birthday Princess!