Our Profession as Parents

I've been doing some thinking lately. More specifically, contemplating the differences in our "profession" as parents. A while ago, i decided i would start practising the ways of Attachment Parenting. And this entry is in no way, shape or form bashing those who follow this way of parenting, but I have to say, its not completely for us. 
I put her on time outs, it works for us. I lose my temper, on a daily basis actually (I have a 22 month old high maintenance diva on my hands). I sometimes ignore her. Stuff just needs to get done at some point, and her unrealistic wants coupled with her reprehensible emotional melt downs make my stomach turn but, i am just incapable of giving her EVERYTHING she wants. When she has a temper tantrum i sometimes ignore her. 

There are many "techniques" i guess you can call them, that i do with Leah considered to be Attachment Parenting. Recently, i started wearing her in a ring sling. And that works great for us, and i love it. When it comes to sleep, i refuse to let her cry it out. We read stories, talk, and sing while cuddling and rocking in the rocking chair. Some nights it is difficult to get her to settle down but i dont expect perfect bedtimes at this age. I do try my hardest to get to her level and listen to what she wants or needs before determining weather or not its do-able. I can't prevent every melt down or temper tantrum.  

There are many ways of parenting out there but this is one that i did a lot of reading up on, and tried to practise. Some people believe in the cry it out method, others don't. Some lay down with their children, or co-sleep. Some try the Ferber Method (which i have). Some get blessed with children who don't need any help sleeping or schedualing. There are tons of theories out there discussing how you "should" go about it. From discipline to sharing, sleep training to feeding. You could do research for 20 years and still come across more theories. The list is literally endless. Because there is no "perfect way", because there is no perfect parent or perfect child. The right way is your way.  

I support those who do follow the way of attachment parenting just as much as i support those who don't follow it. Sometimes you just have to parent the best way you can! As long as your doing that, and at the end of the day you have a happy child who loves you unconditionally, and you them, then your a "professional at your profession".

Keep smiling, you can't slow this down and before you know it your babies will have babies.

The Best Years

Today we took Leah to the pumpkin patch, just a little ways out of town. It also happened to be my birthday! I was surprised, and kind of irritated at how for one - it was so busy, and two - it was freezing! I was excited that another babywearing opportunity presented itself. I saw SO many moms and dads wearing their babies in all sorts of different carries! It made me happy to be able to still wear her even though she was the oldest child i seen being worn. Infact, it wasn't mommy, but daddy who wore her today. I think he enjoyed it.

We started our day at the pumpkin patch with a pony ride. Had i of known what would have happened after, i would never of put her on it, well... maybe i would of. She loved it so much that a 20 minute melt down followed. I've never gotten so many looks and stares in my life. Like, you've never seen a baby cry before? Give me a break! Hey, pregnant lady, don't look at me and judge! You got ANOTHER one on the way, you'll have your "fun"! And, Family with the 2 kids -- stop staring and pretending like your not. Grow up, i know you've been through this.

Get over it people. Your at a FAMILY pumpkin patch farm, there's going to be children having melt downs! (i just wish it didnt have to be mine *sigh*) To be clear, the reason for me being so cold is because i can tell the difference between sympathetic looks, annoyance, and just judgmental looks. There was no empathy.

The tractor (FINALLY) showed up, and Leah got quiet and happy to be getting on another ride. She enjoyed herself and kepy saying "WOW" over every bump. The hay ride stopped in a pumpkin feild fo us to pick a pumpkin. We just picked a small one for Leah. It was nice to cuddle in the cold and enjoy a nice hay ride.

These experiences are memories being made. I will look back one day and remember how stressed out i was when i couldnt get her to stop crying, along with all of the looks, but that will be just a shade of gray compared to the colourful, glowing memory of my beautiful baby girl smiling her biggest smile while enjoying a nice pony ride!

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Once bedtime rolled around i noticed just how tired Daddy and i were! He was falling asleep on the couch, and i could have fallen asleep too. I thought "ohhh, i wonder if he'll do bedtime tonight". And as i thought of it some more and the small possibilty that he would (only because she chooses me over him when im home lol) part of me said "NO, i want to do it!" And thats all the motivation i needed. I got up, got her dressed, gave her some milk and read a few stories while she drank. We grabbed a blanket and cuddled and rocked in the rocking chair. This is probably my favorite thing. She rarely sits and cuddles with me this long while doing nothing, during the day. So too have this, and to look down at her, kiss her head, squeeze her, cuddle her, and love her... is the best feeling ever, and i cherish it with all my heart. There are nights i wish she would hurry up and go to sleep, but thats just me having a "parent temper-tantrum", i need SOME mommy time! But, deep down there's nothing i would change.
I know for a fact that my SIL, as well as many others would have something to say about me STILL rocking my 22 month-old to sleep. So what!? She enjoys it, i enjoy it, daddy even enjoys it when he gets to do bedtime. Its not a chore for us, its a privaledge. Go ahead, say "she's always going to want you to rock her!" or "It's going to take you forever to get her out of that habit". So, your telling me, im going to be rocking my daughter when shes 15 years old? 8 years old? No, most likely not. I would say that by the time she is no older than 3, shes not going to want to be rocked any more. Children don't want you around forever. So why not cherrish and hold this moment for as long as you can? She just wants her mommy now. And guess what? Her mommy is okay with that, because her mommy wants her too. I understand that some parents just don't have the time to sit and rock each child to sleep. But i do, i have nothing better to do anyways.

We won't ever get these days, months, or years back ever again, they're gone forever. This is why every moment is so important, and we have to hold onto every precious memory and enjoy even the stressful times. One day you'll wake up and she'll be all grown up with her own children. Just like that, in a blink of the eye.
These are the best days of our lives.

Out With The Old

Its time to start cleaning out! We have tons of baby stuff that we're not using, and the money we get from selling, we've decided to put towards christmas presents for Leah.
As i was cleaning the baby furniture/items to be sold, i started to feel relieved that we will finally have some extra space around here. Space that can be used to store other junk we got lying around, obviously. Its interesting that as much as you clean, tidy, organize... you will never really, ever rid yourself of those irritating, counter hogging, little nik-naks! Be it chapstick, bank cards, dollar store junk, papers, keys, toys ect. (yes, thats what a corner of my counter is usually always occupied by) it never actually gets put away or thrown out before more starts piling up!

I cleaned and took pictures of 4 things; our highchair, infant/toddler rocker, exersaucer, and Leah's last year's halloween costume, a strawberry.

 I posted all 4 ads online. within an hour i had 2 replys. One for the costume and the other for the infant/toddler rocker. I ended up backing out on the rocker chair. I had only posted it for $20, it doesn't take up a lot of room, and technically she can still use it. Plus, it has more sentimental value than any of our other baby furniture. This is where she slept for her first 2-3 months on and off, sometimes of a week straight. She enjoyed laying next to my bed, as did i. It was a life saver and so convenient to rock her back to sleep when mama definetly needed her sleep! It almost brought a tear to my eye. And that was that, my mind was made up and i was't getting rid of it. 

In a way, getting rid of these things makes me feel like we won't be having another child for 3-5 years. From DH's perspective, im sure he'd think that that's perfect!

It makes me sad for some reason, a reason thats hard to explain. I mean, i know that just because we're selling these things now doesnt mean a year from now we can't have another baby. Baby stuff is expensive but there's things we buy for our babies that dont get used until their over 6 months.
Maybe, i feel like im getting rid of something that's not mine? I don't know. I want more kids, at least one more.

Tomorrow, im putting up a few more ads. I'll be selling my diaper genie, car seat bunting bag, travel booster, swing, and play mat. Wish me luck!

-M.

Thursday Can't Come & Go Fast Enough

I've been able to keep this out of my mine pretty easily up until now. Life has been busy lately, and it was only today that i realized just how close the 20th is. Its this Thursday, 4 days away, 2 days before my birthday!

This Thursday, my Nanny is going in for a hip-replacement surgery. I talked to her about a week and a half ago and she said "i didn't know, but there is more to this surgery than i realized. Im going to need a lot of help for a while, and not able to move much for 6 weeks." I could tell she was nervous. It broke my heart and i didn't know what to say. I reassured her that luckily, my mom will be flying in to help her for 6 weeks. Im so happy my mom is able to make it down to see her and be there. Otherwise i would do it in a heart beat.

Last night, i had a dream about her. She was scared. She got in the car with my grandad and as they started to drive away to the hospital, ei could hear her crying so loudly that i heard it from the house. I was sobbing in my dream, and woke up heartbroken.

I would have called her today but it was really busy again. Tomorrow i will call her, talk to her, hopefully comfort her. She's one of the most important women in my life. She's basically another mother to me. We've always been so close. I can't help but to feel her fear, nervousness, and anxieties - even if she somehow isn't feeling it, i am.

I love my Nanny so much. She's an incredible, beautiful, sweet person. I am so lucky and blessed to have her in my life. She holds a huge place in my heart.

It breaks my heart more that i can't be there with her.

As i lay here, tossing and turning, eyes watering, tired but unable to sleep - somehow this has helped me numb the worry.
Unfortunately, Im sure the rest of the week is going to play out much like tonight. Thursday can't come and go fast enough.

How The BWing Journey Is Going

It might seem crazy to some people that i just recently started to wear my almost-22-month-old daughter. For me, its been a chance to bond in a way we hadn't been able to before. The time she spends in her sling is a whole new learning experience. She sees things from a different perspective and is more alert and observant. Sometimes she spots things like squirrels and other animals even before me! We can easily communicate with eachother, and let me tell you, this does make a difference. Communicating and keeping the attention of a toddler is always a task.

She even asks to go in her sling (by pointing), which by the way is shocking considering shes so independant nowadays. While walking she doesn't even like to hold a hand, so the fact that she can be up with me for over a half hour without whining or complaining is pretty much miraculous!

Yesterday we went for a walk to the library, which is about a 15 min walk one way wearing the sling (since i dont walk as fast while wearing her). It was a drizzly, cool afternoon, and i decided to wear one-inch heels anyways (what was i thinking?!). It was our first long trip in the ring sling. We got many looks and stares my passing cars and other pedestrians. It didnt bother me the least. In fact, it made me even more confident, like "look what im doing!". Someone yelled something out their truck window at me but i wasnt able to pick it out, so i just shrugged it off and took it as some sort of "compliment" lol. Well, maybe it was the fact that i had stickers on my face... meh! Who knows! 

We had a great time! She didnt ask to get down once. I even stopped to talk to a pregnant woman that lives in my building, shes due on the 25th! She asked how i liked the ring sling, and it made me very happy to talk about it and encourage it!

I couldn't believe it! Leah said a new word yesterday while we were walking. Not just any word, a hard one, a two-syllable one! She said "Ousiiiide" (outside)!! She makes me smile every day.
We got home and apparently, a 40 min walk in her sling was just not enough for my sling-addict child! She cried and tried to get me to put it back on, pulled on the door handle while yelling "Ouusiiiide, Ousiiide!!". My heels were pretty chewed up but luckily, i didnt realize until i took them off.

 On another note, its been great carrying around some extra weight and burning extra calories without even using my arms!
We love it and the new babywearig journey is going amazingly!

-M.

A Taste of what Could Have Been

Without a doubt, there are days i sit and wonder what things would have been like had L not come along. Its not like before her we had lives. lol We didnt really. Most days were spent being lovie-dovie, watching movies, & going on mini dates. He used to be a partier. Me, not so much. We lived with his dad, rent free, worry free. 

We moved here, on our own about 8 months ago, so we don't know anyone. I started work about 2 months ago, and i just started to meet some people actually living here. A  few nights ago i was asked  to go out to a house party. (Please Note: I've only ever been to 2 house parties in my life, & they were NOTHING like this one!) I wont say much, but i did have a good time talking and seeing a new friend. It was nice to get out and socialize with other people. They just wouldn't of been my first choice of people, but it was an experience in itself lol.

Some people say that they would never have a child now, because they wouldnt have a life. But thats the point. They are your life. Say what you want but i would prefer spending the day with my daughter cuddled on the couch or having tea parties with her stuffed animals than going out and making a fool of myself partying it up. I definetly thought of L pretty much the entire time, and even talked about her (maybe a little too much) lol. Does that make me crazy? I spent a lot time there thinking about how this is "what could have been".

 

I will admit there are the few times i think about how easy everything would be if i was a childless, worry-free woman. But i almost always end that thought by looking at my sweet, crazy, beautiful little baby (whose not really a baby anymore) just smiling and knowing this is Gods plan. If we had been more "careful" then the child we would have had down the road would not have been our Leah, and she is so very special. Neither of us would take it back or do anything different, no matter how hard things have been.

 

Theres not a day that goes by that im not thankful for my daughter. She is the air i breathe. I live for her. Being a mother at my age definitely isnt for everyone. But since the beginning, i knew this was what i was meant to be.

Babywearing -- Better Late Than Never

My daughter, Leah, is almost 22 months. I know its late to be starting to wear her, but ive read tons and watched tons. I know there is still lots for us to benefit from by wearing her as a toddler. Im hoping this will be a whole new bonding experience for the both of us, and even Daddy, as we didnt have the chance to bond this way before.

I know many people think, or will think "She can walk, why do you still carry her?!" or "Why did you bother buying one now? Your not going to get much use out of it."

Well, for one... yes, i know she can walk but she is still really little and she does get tired from walking at some point. She's small for her age, but that doesnt stop her or hold her back in any way.

Two; she LOVES being up in my arms. No matter if im sweeping, cooking, doing laundry, or just walking to get the flyers in the lobby. Why would i deny her of this?

Three; its much more convenient than a stroller. I mean, yes... there is a time for a stroller and the three of us love having one and going for walks. But it cant get more convenient than ssticking the sling in our diaper bag and be able to have all of our needs met while still being hands free!

Lastly, to us its not a waste of money. I plan on wearing her until she no longer wants to be worn, or i physically cant anymore. But like i said, she is still SO little.  

Today i woke up to a great surprise sitting on the kitchen counter; my ring sling came in the mail!! 

I tried it on right away and practiced with a baby-sized teddy baby. After a few attempts at getting her in and getting both of us comfortable, i decided to go do laundry. I walked downstairs to the laundry room, then back up again, all the while carrying her in the ring sling. She absolutley loved it! She asked to go outside, and so we did for aboutt 20 minutes just walking around, trying out our new sling. 

There's a local Thanksgiving Day parade coming up on Monday, so this package could not have come at a better time! What a great time to try it out publicly!