Diagnosed

I don't think I have to explain why and how life has been crazy lately. Well, beyond crazy actually. Almost unbearable. If you've read any posts I've written this month you'll just know. Things aren't ever a "walk in the park" for us.
Sometime in high school it clicked to me that..."damn girl! You ALWAYS learn the hard way! Always biting off more than you can chew! Always making the wrong decisions!"
And honestly? Those sayings still stand today. Why?!!! I've been asking myself this over and over and OVER!

Lately, I've really tried to dig deep into my faith and pull it out. I recently finished reading The Vow, and I honestly don't think it could have come into my hands at a better time. I felt like it really spoke to me. Like REALLY. It made me bawl. Well, most things do these days.... Anyways, I realized how far I've wandered away from the Lord. I cried over that, cried to Him, cried about everything, ha. But seriously. I did. I wrote my prayers in a journal, speaking very specifically to Him. I'm ready to put my trust in Him again. Let Him lead me.

These last few weeks have been HARD. Really HARD. Ive been pretty absent in the Twitter and facebook department.
It scared me how different ive been feeling, how un-me i felt. How...well, worthless and pathetic. Incompetant. Unworthy. You name it, i felt it. Every shower resulted in me at the bottom, head in my hands, sulking. Brutal. Ugly. I feel dragged down, exhausted, drained, empty. It took a lot of breakdowns, crying, yelling, etc. But today I decided to go see a doctor about it.

Depression.

Antidepressants.
--apparently the more "natural kind" which also happens to not be addictive. I was given lots of information from the doctor and pharmacist. It'll probably be 3 weeks until it starts kicking in.

So, here's to THIS chapter of my life.

*cheers* (or not, since...you know, I don't drink...)

:)

P.s. I don't mean to give you sob stories in hope for pitty. Because, honestly? I don't want your pitty. I don't know what I want. Sleep maybe. And a vacation. More sleep. Chocolate. Yeah....that.

The story behind it. Eviction.

I swear, by the time I'm 30, my life better not have this much drama. Actually, if it doesn't I'll probably be bored to death, since its always something going on, because even now...well, we've been evicted. Yep. I was so upset at first. Before even got the notice. Because I didn't KNOW. Didn't know my rights. But now? I'm stressed, yes, but I'm anxious to prove this asshole is...well, an asshole. Pull up a seat, grab some popcorn and a coffee. This will be a good one:

We pay our rent, clean up after ourselves, are quiet (well, as quite as it gets with a 2 year old), we actually care about our place - unlike so many people here, and we have a puppy - like SO many others here have animals.
But why did WE get an eviction notice? Well, because we complained so much about their half ass flooring jobs and incompetent maintenece men. I moved in here and the basement, spare room, and living room all needed replacement due to cat pee and poop and spray smells. It was horrific. They did the basement about a week and a half after we moved in. But left the carpet ripped up for another week and a half. After this, I guess they figured they could save themselves some money and just do a spray treatment on it and all would be good. Wrong. They did two treatments in the spare room and one in the living room. None of which even helped the smell. The third bedroom was the worst. We had to keep the door closed, and nothing in it. It was completely unacceptable. The spare room JUST got replaced about two weeks ago (we've been here for two months now). Last Thursday we got a call saying they'll be here on Saturday to replace our living room. Friday morning, after we got the puppy, their incompetent, lousy excuse for maintence guy seen me with the puppy outside. The only person who saw us.

A few hours later, the landlord came banging on the door, "You got a puppy?" I didn't deny it. "Yes I did!" ...."Well, you can't. People are getting evicted, you can't have dogs." ....I said, "Well, you can't tell us we can't have one, but everyone else is allowed to have a dog or cat. Apparently, you can pay a $75 deposit to have a cat. But not a dog? That's discrimination, and its not right." He then said, "Well, I'm sorry, I got a call today from carol (owner's agent), saying someone said you had a puppy. So, you can expect an eviction notice." He wasn't all snaky about it, but I still refused to be discrimated against. It was bull, I know what the owner is trying to pull. He later came back and I showed him the Landlord and Tenant board website where it said we COULDNT be evicted because of the dog, unless he's dangerous, causing damage, too noisy or causing allergies (which I'm pretty sure only counts if your in an apartment building sharing elevators and stair cases, and stuff...not town houses) He didn't say much other than "well, he's still going to evict you." I said "what about everyone else with cats AND dogs?" He said "Its just dogs for now." (I mean, what a serious asshole. Like really? Pets are pets. You can't allow one but not the other!)
He came back a third time that day (Friday same day as we got the puppy), and said, "The carpet guys called me, and they're going to have to reschedule?" I said "oh really? How coincidental. I asked for the name of the carpet guy and the company name. He then got all weary, but told me.

Monday came, and the landlord walked up to us outside, this time all snarky, and said "You guys getting rid of the dog?" I said "no we're not"...he got all rude and started pointing his finger saying "well, I'm telling you right now, be ready for the eviction notice!" Matt was out then and he said "Oh we are. We already know he can't evict us." Then our landlord tried saying yes he can because these are now (all of a sudden) condos. Ha.
After he left, I called the landlord and tenant board. I had TONS of questions. Can he charge $75 for a pet deposit? NO. Can we be evicted for having a dog even though we signed a 'no pets' agreement? No, he needs more of a reason. Does the rules/laws change for town houses and condos? NO. I kid you not. Everything I asked this woman on the phone, he wasn't allowed to do. But somehow this millionaire douche who owns tons of property, has a street named after him, his name pinned up in the library for most money donated, an entire WING in the new hospital called after him...and God knows what else... is allowed to get away with stuff like this. Maybe because he has money, or because he thinks we are young and naive. We're not. We know our rights. Nonetheless, that evening the landlord delivered us our eviction notice.

Later on, I thought about the carpet guys. I told matt, "Hey! I'm going to call him and just see if we can reschedule a date for the replacement." So I did. The guy on the other line started laughing! He said, "well, here's the REAL story, (landlord's name) called US! They told US to cancel. Because he said you had a puppy and there was no point because your leaving anyways." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The landlord lied to my face! And THATS why he was all weary when I asked for the carpet company name. Again...assholes to the Max.

Many people here in our complex I have talked to and they have animals of their own. They don't agree with what he is doing, as they have also received notices in the past, but the owner didn't go any further to getting them to move out. Some want to get together and team up and take him to the Tribunal over it. Of course, because of recent run-ins regarding our carpet, he was quick to get our eviction notice out to us. Yet, he doesn't seem too worried about the others anymore. I mean, the guy who complained is a worker, we arent interferering with his reasonable enjoyment of the property. He doesn't live here. The same goes for electrical workers coming into your HOUSE when you have a dog. You do house calls....people have dogs. That's life. You don't like dogs? Don't do house calls. For explanation's sake, even if my puppy was a dog and actually bit a maintenance person. HE could charge me, fine me, whatever, but my landlord has nothing to do with it, in that sense.

However, Matt and I are doing up a petition. We're going around house to house asking if anyone has had any concerns regarding noise, or damage to my or any other unit. Then, we putting in an order for a hearing. And after thoroughly reading through the Residential Tenancies Act on the Board's website, I feel like we could even have a case. So ill probably looking into having a consultatiin with a lawyer. I paid an early move in fee. And I want that back. This place was in no condition for someone to live in. And I didn't know until I got in here and closed the windows...that's when the smell got bad. Duh. We've been harassed, discrimated against, unlawfully charged, evicted without reason, and he's failing to maintain and repair the living conditions in which we live. Not to mention all the stress and anxiety that's been brought on by this. And once this is all cleared up... I know for a fact my carpet won't get replaced. I'm not even going to bother asking again. I'm going to just file another order with the board.

Before all this happened, I really just thought that you could be evicted for such things. Lesson to be learned here? Know your rights! Just because someone has more money, a nicer house, a nicer car, clothes etc. Doesn't mean a damn thing. We are equal people in society with the same human rights.
I won't ever let anyone walk over me or my family. If something doesn't seem right to you, its probably because it isn't. People like him get away with said issues because he CAN. Because people are scared, or uneducated on the matter at hand, or intimidated. Did you know that an eviction notice is void 30 days after it was received, if the landlord hasn't ordered for a hearing (explaining why they think you should be evicted)? Therefore, you can stay in your home. Yes, you won't have a good residential reference, but at this point, it can't be helped. Your rent will still be taken out, you can continue living there. Mind you, if you DO disagree with the eviction notice YOU have the right to order a hearing.

I won't be leaving. Not this way anyways.

Buried inside this stressed out mama, is a proud woman. I'm doing what's right. What my daughter deserves. What WE deserve. And I won't back down.

:)
*****

Tha pooch. Day 1

We got up at the crack of stupid this morning (5am) to go get our boy. Matt went out and grabbed us a quick breakfast before we hit the road. After a long hour and twenty minutes he was in our arms.

The ride home was....long as well. He sat up with me for about ten minutes, then started getting out of hand so I put him in the little box down by my feet. Thankfully he didn't pee or poop or vomit because, you know, I obviously had to forget a towel/blanket and paper towels. AND his color and leash, in case we had to stop. Oh well, we made it unsoiled. And once we all got out he did his pee.

Coming into the house, he was a little shaky and unsure. Actually most of the day he was shaky and nervous. But towards the evening he really started to warm up. He's even getting used to the toddler that has a pretty much constant volume level of MAX. And he sleeps more than I expected. He had four accidents today. All pee. But he had WAY more successful outside potty trips. I'm pretty proud of him, and me. We did good. I'm still going to hope for better today though.
My mom loves him. She thinks he's gorgeous and she wants one of her own.

Leah was a little bit more attention-seeking. Which I completely understand. And i tried my hardest to be patient and good to her too. When saying her prayers, she just could wait to blurt out "bless you Jax" My sweet girl. She truly loves her puppy.

At night. Gosh, really? We have a newborn again. The weird part is, when we went to bed I looked at matt and said "Who's getting up with him first?" Lol lucky for me, he did. We went to bed around midnight. Matt took him out at 3 to go pee. At 4 I got up with him because he was whining again. He did his pee and got a treat. And 6 I got up with him again, because he was whining. Took him out, he peed. We came in and he ate and drank, so we went back out 5 mins later. Since everyone was sleeping still, it was just me and him. In my jammies, no makeup, no hair brushed. Don't judge. He did his business again. And i was happy.
We made him a comfy little bed out of an old wicker basket I had laying around. He slept in it, and being the little chicken he is (at the moment anyways), he was too afraid to climb out, so he had ZERO accidents all night!
And now, some pictures. :-)

Beached it up.

The day after we decided to get a puppy, I called and arranged for us to go pick him out. Its just over an hour north of us. Not terribly far. The weather was suppose to be nice. Really nice. So, we figured, why not make a day of it, and go to the beach afterwards?
The next morning we got up, packed, got dressed, loaded the truck, took the top off of the jeep, and hit the road. Puppy then beach bound. It was going to be an awesome day. Picking out a puppy took longer than I anticipated. They were all beautifully marked, and most of them had such sweet personalities. Except one boy. He was such a lazy little guy, adorable. When the woman took them outside he played for a bit but then started crying to get back in the bucket to be brought inside. When he finally managed to get it, he continued to cry, I assume, because he wanted back in his cage-thingy in the barn. Haha. Anyways, we didn't choose him... lol poor boy. I wish I could care for them all haha. After we paid her our deposit, we were on our way to the beach. Except it was farther than we thought. Isn't that always how it works?
We made it, finally. Leah's little toddler dream come true. She always pretends to be at the beach. We stayed for two hours. We swam, splashed, floated, built sand castles, buried our child, then my child and i buried her dad. Showed off my new bathing suit. You know, fun times. We brought snacks and drinks with us which included strawberries, cheese and crackers, crispers, and a chocolate bar each. 'Cause, hello, beaching it up calls for a tasty treat, right? Right. Leah and i shared a Kit Kat. Nom nom nom. Usually chocolate, or candy, or ice cream even, doesn't really effect her. Well, in a hyper active way, anyways. Sometimes it does the opposite and puts her to sleep. But today? When we had 1.5 hour drive home? Heck no. She was wired. Like pure giggles, sillyness, loud funky fake laughing, saying hilarious things. Like ridiculously hilarious things, that you wish had been recorded. And of course... i cant even remember it. Darn it. I couldn't even snap a decent picture of her. She was a blur in every one haha. She slept good that night. We all did.
It was an awesome first time at the beach in 2012. And i cant wait to go back.

Tuesday Treasures. ...er, something like that.

You know that moment you realize your pay check wasn't as much as it was suppose to be? Yeah- that. So, needless to say, things haven't gone exactly as planned this week. I guess it could be worse, though.

And because there are equal parts negative and positive stuff going on on a daily basis, I was thinking I should just donate a day of the week to write about all of the craptastic things that happen. You know, so then we can compete for who has the most shitacular day. Sound fun, yeah?
Mmm...well, maybe not.

But I really really do try to just keep moving forward, to find something positive in all this negative. But some days its so hard. Did I happen to break some kind of evil mirror that I wasn't aware of, while walking under a ladder, inside, holding an open umbrella with the number 13 plastered all over it, *takes deep breath before continuing* just before crossing paths with a black cat... on Friday the 13th? *sighs*
Yeah, your probably right. I don't even believe in all that hocus-pocus stuff. Although, I even had to write this post TWICE! Yeah, 'cause somehow it got deleted while trying to publish. Ah...hell.
I gots me a inside out horseshoe stuck up me bum though ;) I must.
 
Anyways. Things that I am thankful for. Things I treasure this week.

** Philadelphia Onion Dip. Nuff said.
** Kissing chubby toddler cheeks.
** uh, buying a PUPPY. Hello.
** Finding an awesome vet with amazing prices.
** The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
** Our first trip to the beach this summer. Success!
** 21 Jump Street....because, duh, Channing Tatum? James Franco's younger brother (Dave Franco)? ...heck, even Jonah Hill wasn't all that bad in this one.
** Homemade BLT's. Yum.
** Freeze pops from when i was a kid. 10 in a pack for a dollar? Win.
** Paying off bills. Whoop whoop!

Happy Tuesday!

When a toddler is impatient for her puppy.

Well, this happens -->

OK, lets be honest. Buying a puppy from a horse farm, when your toddler is beyond infatuated with horses and being a cowgirl? Ha...fun times.

At first she was all "aww, puppies so cute." And "puppies eating me skirt! Hahaha! Silly puppies." And then? She looked up.
Bam. Lost all focus. 'Cause, duh, horses?! Heck yeah. Not the regular pony-riding-horses she's used to. Big, beautiful, horses. And of course the woman's 5 grandchildren had her all hyped up, running around, through, and climbing the barn and fences. Animal children. Seriously. At one point we lost track of her momentarily and found her with the other kids (obviously), behind the barn. Matt found her and before picking her up, without even realizing, grabbed the fence and realized it was an electric fence. He only got a little shock, like one you get when rubbing your feet on carpet. But he immedietly picked Leah up and explained she had to stay with us. She came back and played with the puppies a little more, but I could tell she wasn't all that interested. Something was itching at her.

All she was talking about were the darn horses. "Mommy, I ride horsey?" "Mommy I cow girl." And when we left? Melt down extreme. "I want horsey! I ride horsey! Pony ride! Mommy!! I ride horsey!!!" For like, 30 minutes.

So we just figured she didn't fully understand that we just got a puppy. And i know she didn't. But once we left and all day yesterday we were kinda getting her excited about it. Telling her his name, making his bed, buying him food, toys, treats, food bowls, leash, collar etc etc.... I guess she started realizing and understanding. Well, once we got home from buying food, she just burst out in tears. Screaming "Jax! I walk jax. Go get jax." It broke out hearts, but also melted them a little too. She loves her little puppy that she sees in pictures.

The woman asked us if we wanted to take him when we looked at him, and she would just lower the price and we can get his first shots with him. So, remembering this, we decided we all want him here with us so badly. He is completely weaned from his mother, since she refuses to feed them now. (She has twelve after all. And they're a pretty good size now, to be fighting for tha boob.) We gave her a call. Instead of picking him up in two weeks, we're picking him up in one week. So he'll be seven weeks old.
So, not much longer until he's here with us.
My dear daughter needed some cuddles and comfort food to calm her down.

Announcements and such

We've talked about this for some time now, but not even two months ago we were in a small two bedroom apartment. So it just seemed wrong to even think about. Fortunately though, we are now in a spacious, three story, three bedroom town home. Not the biggest back yard, but we have a ginormous park across the street. I know Leah is ready for a little bit of big kid responsibility, and she'd loooove having a little friend around ALL the time.

OK. OK. OK. WHAT IS YOUR BIG ANNOUNCEMENT MEGAN!!! Get to the point.

Haha. Alright.
I'm not pregnant.
We won't be welcoming a sweet little human into this world. Just yet. Although, we would live to. But that's all I'm saying about that.

However, we are going to be welcoming a baby into our hearts and home. He just isn't human. Yes, I said HE. Its a boy! And he's a PUPPY! An Australian Shepherd puppy to be exact. He was born on June 1, 2012. So he is just 6 weeks old right now. He'll be staying with his his mommy for 2 1/2 more weeks. He will have his first shots and a health guarentee. His parents were beautiful and unbelievably friendly and loving.

This Tuesday past I decided to randomly look up some ads online for puppies. When i came across these twelve little Aussies up for sale. They were all gorgeous. All had unique and different pots and markings. Matt and i talked about it all afternoon, evening, night, and finally decided it was the right time, and the right puppy, and the right price. The next day I called and arranged to go meet the puppies for the following day.
I knew they'd be cute, but my gosh, I didn't think they'd all be THAT cute. I fell in love with a little girl, and she sort of fell in love with me. I hate saying he wasn't our first choice but, he was our second. The girl was already spoken for. The boy we chose was calm and cuddly and patient. He was curious and had the most beautiful markings. We took pictures, cuddled him, and sadly, said goodbye for another 2 1/2 weeks. But he is ours. Family, and we know he was meant for us. He has gorgeous blue eyes. Which might change to green, or stay blue.

We will welcome him with open arms and open hearts. We are so ready for this little guy.

His name.... is Jax.

Tuesday Treasures

Last week I got a little distracted and forgot to do my Tuesday Treasures. So the list is a little long this week.

; one dollar iced coffees at McDonalds. All. Summer. Long. Sugar-free vanilla made with milk? Delicious and low Cal!
; deliciously sweet, fresh pineapple
; waking up to a messy-haired, perky little girl reading in her room
; the Hex Hall series. Read them in three days. And somehow my house got cleaned somewhere in there.
; an extremely polite kid. I'm so proud of her.
; ending my day off by enjoying a good book in bed. This week? The Night Circus.
; random family swim days
; singing 'our song' to Leah when she woke up last night. I've never actually sang it to her like that. She listened with a smile on her face. Then, said "I wove you much mommy". If that doesn't melt your heart, your a crazy person.
; Tuesdays. Because they're always better than Mondays.
; Family barbeques with loved ones we haven't seen in months
; our new portable air conditioner. Paid half the retail price from one of Matt's coworkers. It doesn't cool our entire place but it take all the humidity out and keeps it cooler than outside.
; Matt. Boy is he hard to be around on Mondays. But I love him. And he's an awesome daddy. Even came home a couple days ago on his lunch break to build a Lego castle with Leah and quickly eat.
; being able to write. I enjoy it so much. Weather people read it or not. I get some things out of this head of mine.

Well, I think that list is long enough, I've gotta go get this house cleaned. Especially after what Monday did to it. Oh, have I said how much I don't like Mondays? See previous post :)

Monday's at this place.

I think its fair to say Monday's suck, yeah? Its no joke. I freaking hate this day of the week. And i don't even work at the moment. So, why do you dispise this day so much, Megan? Well...let me explain shall I?

Since Friday, Saturday, and Sunday its just Leah and i while daddy is off working, by the time Monday comes, I'd do anything to go and just get a coffee on my own. (Toddlers are a lot of work man. Even an extremely independant one.) However, after working 40 hours in 3 days, Dad usually...er...always takes Monday's for "recuperating". And i guess he deserves it. But even after the sleeping in, the napping etc. he stays pretty cranky throughout the day. For the most part. In turn, it just makes me grumpy. And as a result to that? A cranky, whiny toddler. We're just a big grump fest over hear on Mondays, yo.

Sunday's I usually do more cleaning than any other day. Monday? You'd never be able to tell. Kinda depressing. Even my house is grumpy. Heh heh

Today, being the nice person that I am i got up, got Leah and myself all dolled up and went out to the library. We let daddy stay home and nap. On our way back home Leah seen the park and splash pad. Then she asked for a "nic nic" (picnic). So once we got home, daddy said we could go and i packed some sandwiches and off we went. We had some serious fun. Still, there were grumpy moments....for everyone.

Today i learned my daughter is a pretty audacious little risk taker. I couldnt believe that she was brave enough to climb this crazy ladder thing at the park. Not one but six times. An eight year old came by and tried it, backed off and said "no way i cant do that" haha. While I was pushing Leah on the swings she blurted out "look I high up. I Peter Pan! Argh, I get you Captain Hook! Sword fight!!" And with that mumble jumble we broke out into an air-sword fight. Good times.

When we were back home we were all b.e.a.t. We had an early dinner and did some chillin' and cuddling on the couch. At 5:30 pm my little Miss Peter Pan fell asleep. Off to a Neverland of her own. Poor girl. She was drained.
And i can't blame her. Mondays? Are hard.

Savoring these moments

Ever since The Crazy Day (see previous posts: When the going gets tough), I've been kind if in a "savor this moment, enjoy the little things"-kinda daze.  Maybe it was what happened on The Crazy Day or maybe its just because my not so little baby girl, has taken another developmental leap. She's just becoming so much more vocal, and opinionated, and....big-girl-like. We're at that point where new words aren't all that much of a surprise anymore. I mean -yeah, its fascinating but its no surprise anymore. We're not all "Ohmygosh Honey! Did you hear that! Aww!!" Now its more of an internal struggle with Father Time. And so, as I wallow in self pity, I find myself constantly wondering when she's going to stop liking my cuddles. I admit, I'm probably a little overbearing with showing my affection, especially with her. She gets tons of hugs and squeezes and kisses and cuddles. And at the moment, she mostly enjoys them.

So, these last few days I've been probably extremely overbearing. But still, thankfully, my little Love Bug doesn't mind it. And to be honest, I think I've been a little less stressed out. Parenting has been easier. I'm just savoring. Laughing. Loving. Smiling. Enjoying. 

My heart is just so full of love for this kid, as I'm sure every mother feels. Even 2.5 years later, this unconditional love? Should be the 8th wonder of the world. There's nothing that compares.
Completely swoon worthy. Completely in love.

Butterfly Butterfly

Wednesday was a crazy day. But there was some good that came out of it. Leah and i met up with a friend at the butterfly conservatory. And let me just say this... call me weird, childish, whatever...but I'm not very fond of butterflies. I mean, yeah they're gorgeous, graceful little critters but, well, they creep me out. They're so sporatic and they land on you, in your hair and it just doesn't feel nice. But, despite my weird little thing I got going on with them, I took Leah anyways. Hand in hand, the girls walked, discovered and explored. There was even a class on a field trip that was sitting listening to one of the workers. Of course my kid, being who she is...tugged on her little friends hand and made her sit down with her at the back of the group. Some kids kind of gave them funny looks. Then, out of nowhere, I guess because it was too quiet for them, they started raising their hands yelling "oh, me! MEEE!" Ha. A glimpse into her future I guess.
I highly doubt my daughter will be the shy, quiet, loner kid that I was in school. For some reason, I'm thinking she's going to be the well known, candid, dauntless spunky little monkey. Maybe even Miss Popularity. Like her daddy was. (Yeah, I was the quiet, modest, shy girl who got the popular jockey --- hmm maybe I should write about how we met....got together...stuff? Yeah?) Needless to say, they got the attention they were seeking and they were darn cute doing so.
Once we got into the conservatory, it was HOT. Like, sweating your balls off in 2 mins kind of hot. That part wasn't great, and we had to take about 4-5 breaks and go back into the air conditioned part. Fewwf!
Leah was so in to it. She especially loved the little finches that, surprisingly, were extremely tame for a bird. She was saying "awww" and "pretty" quite a bit. I got some gorgeous pictures! We had such a good time.

When the going gets tough...

...it just gets tougher. Seriously.
Today started off all wrong. If i could have a re-do I would soooo jump on that opportunity.

First.
Matt's brother and sister came to stay with us for two nights. This morning, I was going to bring them home in my way to the butterfly conservatory. Except we got a call 45 minutes before we intended to be up from their mother saying his brother was late for work...! Yeah.... So we all got ready as fast and as best we could. We left.

Que crazy rain and thunderstorm.

Second.
Just as i was driving into town, the gas light comes on. No big deal...stop at the bank, get gas...carry on. Or so I thought. I get to the bank and find out that our rent came out when it wasn't suppose to. No money. Like....none. I still had to some how bring these guys home, and drop his brother off at work. And i was suppose to be going to the butterfly conservatory. In the end...I did make it. But barely.

Third. And boy...is this one good.
After waiting and waiting and WAITING for my rent check to be returned (which it never did), I magically was able to take money out...(?) And so I headed to the butterfly conservatory with my friend and her little girl. We had so much fun. Hot, sticky, buggy, and well earned FUN. (Which I will write about another time)
After being in what I would expect was close to 60 degrees celceus ( not 100% sure but damn hot!) Like rainforest hot.....we came home and walked down to my moms for freezies. Leah got a freezie and was pretty pumped over it. And i guess we didn't come at the best time because as soon as i walked in, my sister looks at me as if to say "ugh! what are you doing here!?" And really says "oh, we're leaving very soon, just so you know". I told her that's OK, we only came to say hi and Leah wanted a freezie. After about 30 minutes (my mom was discussing camping over the next few weeks) my sister was getting extremely impatient. She asked about a bajillion times in the most snotty way "uh, when are we leaving?!" But it wasn't just that...oh no...Leah was trying to move one of my moms plastic chairs (I don't know why...she's a toddler, doing toddler things) My sister was all "no Leah. No Leah. No Leah." Eventually I told Leah to say excuse me please. Which she did. My sister wouldn't move. Leah asked again nothing. And again and again and again. After this, I raised my voice at her and told her to move. She replied with "I'm not even in the way, geeze what's the big deal" I told her...its not a big deal but a two and a half year old is using some pretty damn good manners at the moment and I'd like for her to respect that and move! She gave me THAT look. You know, the miss attitude I don't give a crap kinda look. I took her arm and pulled her out of Leah's way. She yelled at me. Went right back. I moved her again. She screamed at me. Like screeeaaamed. Meanwhile my mother was also there trying to tell her to move and be respectful. She's all "No! no! Why do I have to move? I'm not even in the way" and "DONT TOUCH ME" in a im-getting-tortured voice. I h.a.d. IT! For real. I grabbed her arm pulled her away all while she's screaming at me. I put my hand over her mouth, pinned her against the wall and basically told her if she ever screams like that again in front of my daughter again she's going to be sorry. She then shrieked like I've never heard any one shriek. It was almost uneligable.
I'm not proud, by any means. But thinking back, I don't know if there was any other way I could of handled it. Well, I guess I could of left. But I'm just so tired of her being that snotty, mouthy little you-know-what that she is. But PLEASE believe me... she's like no other person I've ever known or heard of. She has ADHD, anxiety, and ODD (opposition defiant disorder), and we all think she has some OCD as well. Some day I think she's got a personality disorder. In all honesty guys, she makes it HARD to love. I've always said that. I mean...yes I love her. She's my sister. I wish she could actually BE a sister to me. A friend. She's just blood. And you have no idea how much it actually pains me to admit that. But its the truth.
And fourth?
Well, obviously today couldn't be complete without one of THOSE bedtimes. The refusing, the crying, the coming out, ect ect ect. Is it MY bedtime yet?
Just pray for me people. Or whatever it is that you do. Because I sure as heck could use it right about...well...13 hours ago.
:)
*****
Thanks for reading my outrageously long post. But there. Its out.
*siiiiigh*
******
Some "crazy-head" pictures Leah and i took after our stressful day.

I'm beyond grateful. Even though...

I was like a child waiting for Canada to come. The giddyness and excitment was just overflowing. Until... my mother decided to invite her ex along. And drunk at that. Wait. Did i say drunk? i meant shit-faced. Excuse the inappropriate terminology but i dont really know any other description. And my mom? She was also not far off. I mean...i'm all for having a few drinks in honor of our country's birthday (which i didnt even...) but when your going somewhere public? Where thousands of people are? Just kind of irritating is all.
So, we get there, set up our chairs and my mom asks me if we want to go let leah do some stuff while they stay there with our stuff. So we did. We made straight for the pony rides. Leah was beyond thrilled to be a real cowgirl. Next up, she went on the toddler ferris wheel, that goes about 7-8 feet in the air. She was saying, "I big girl!" because she had to go on alone. Fortunately, this family asked if their daughter could go on with leah because she was afraid, and at the end, her parents gave leah the rest of their tickets. Super nice. So then she got to go on this big blow-up, bouncy slide. She climbed up with other kids also in pursuit. Gets to the top, turns around and starts goingndown thinking THAT was the slide, and taking out a couple kids on the way haha. I think i peed a little laughing... ok i did (I know im not alone in this area). After that she had some real bouncy fun in the little bouncy castle. And seriously? Best!Day!Ever!
About an hour and a half later she texts me asking where we are because she is at the beer tent. Ha! Who woulda thunk? And left our stroller and the rest of our belongings alone. I wasnt happy.But then she got back and said, "Of course everything is okay, I told you God was watching it." ....Really!?
Anyways, after all was said and done, it was a great evening. And at 9:55pm when the fireworks started, we were all in awe. I looked next to me and seen my daughter cuddled with her daddy watching her first fireworks. In little toddler heaven, and I was just so thankful for this beautiful country we live in. Thankful for what we have, who we have...drunk or not. Thankful for the soldiers who fight for us, the soldiers who remain home (like mine) because they are a great honor as well. Thankful for friends, family, and love. It was one of those moments that made you just wish everyone in the world had the opportunity to watch fireworks.
At the end we all clapped and cheered and yelled, "Happy Birthday Canada!" Which, coming from a toddler sounded more like, "Happy birtay Canna!", totally cute.
Happy 145th birthday Canada! I'm proud of my beautiful country.

Happy 145th Birthday

Canadians across the country are celebrating the 145th birthday of our beautiful country. This year, as in years past, will be marked by day long festivities and capped of with a fireworks display in many areas. Its a fun filled day of red and white.

This year we're heading to the park down the road where they are predicting that thousands of people will be there. There's bands, games, clowns, barbeques, pony rides, along with a ginormous playground that im sure will be packed, and obviously a fireworks display, which will be leah's first time seeing in real life! The city, and its donaters have spent $20,000 on fireworks. It should be a good show.
We'll be walking down with some folding chairs and snacks. Its going to be a long, warm day. Hopefully i can find something patriotic for us all to wear! ;)

Heres to another 145 years, Canada. *cheers*
Happy Birthday!
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M.